The Columnist Manifesto

Complaints, criticisms and self doubt about the Word Verifictionary contest have slowly built up to a critical mass. One blogger, whom we will refer to as Tonya, complains "how come I never win?" When I point out that she has never in fact ventured a word verifiction, she replies that the whole idea of it is lame.

Sleep Goblin has long suspected that all of the word verifiction entries are posted as "at least" honorable mention, a sort of competition-rigging that for some reason she finds off-putting. Let me assure you all that editorial discretion is excercised: not everybody is a winner (e.g., Tonya), and not every entry is posted in the Wednesday Winners' list.

Moral Turpitude doesn't see the humor in the very funny WV I left on her comments:

nizdlab: "You're dyslexic and you have a bad cold -- what are you going to do now?"

"I'b goig to nizdlab!"

I grow concerned that the contest is becoming too insular -- that it's just the usual suspects. But I'm glad to see a few new names in this week's winners' list. And if you're interesting in joining in but feel like you don't know how -- Joint Tortfeasor -- here are the simple instructions:

Post a comment. When you see the word verification letter string, try to make it into a word and give a definition. Type the letter string and your definition at the end of your comment. And voila! Honorable Mention at least! Well, maybe.

And without further delay, this week's prizes:


First Prize

neel mehta
mrfucc: a male escort.

Runner(s) Up

Wendy
oyysuhgo

1. "Oy, yes. You go" What you say to your SO when you have too much work and they remind you of a social engagement.

2. (oh-ee-SHU-goh) A new collectable card game, replacing Yuh-gi-oh cards.
abduesk: doing abdominal crunches under your desk at work.

Janelle
frzbx (frizz box): A special wig box for frizzy wigs.

Special "Are You Trying to Tell Me Something?" Award

neel mehta
uucis: (YOU-cus): that sticky residue caused by you clinging to me.

Honorable Mentions

mitch
aldfurbl (ald-FUR-ball): what you get when you elect a cat to the City Council

csinla
rytth - the primary ingredient in risotto, as pronounced by a teenager with extensive orthodontic apparatus.

Quinn the Brain
wwgbffu -- what would George Bush f*ing foul up?

warren p.k.

wcwjw = what comedy would jesus watch?

dloadkw -- "de-load-queue" -- the line that forms behind a truck as people buy black market goods

phrld = ("furled") how to describe a long phone cord that is all twisted and kinked. (Cf. "unphrld" -- the way the cord looks after you stand there holding it high with the earset hanging down so that the cord can unwind and become straight again)

inrtggv - inert gigavolt -- also known as a defective NASA space shuttle battery

Wendy
mfdwux - a fleetingly popular hair pomade, used primarily for spiking hair and mohawks.

mzxemoin - (mizz-eh-moyn) an additional seating tier, between the loge and the mezzanine

jcfuwdad - (jay-cee-few-dad) The only Christian city in Iraq.

ghgmv - (gig MV)
1. A Billion-Million Volts
2. The truck a band uses to get to gigs.

Janelle Renee
pogfxr (pog[s] fixer): A person who organizes an adult-themed Pogs game.

cfyozmt (Sci-Fi Oz-mat): Centrally located in the twilight zone, between the Land of Oz and the Death Star, there is a convenient Laundromat where flying monkeys and rebel troops meet to do their laundry.

Honorablee Me(hta)ntion

neel mehta
lyclcty (LYC-al-city): where werewolves wolve.

xupzubt (X-ups-you-butt): An unknown item found in a human subject of alien rectal probing.

nubgkyla (nub-geek-EE-la): someone who gets unnecessarily excited about nubs.

alqzyg (al-KEE-cig): why not destroy your liver and lungs at the same time?

skrfq: a hidden rock on a ski slope.

# posted by Oscar Madison @ 10:18 AM