The Columnist Manifesto

This week, for the second time, Word Verificationary sees the equivalent of a home run in the first major league at bat. Only Mr. Verb had previously achieved this feat of winning on the first try, which apparently so impressed and humbled him that he has never tried WV again. Let's hope such reticence doesn't overcome this week's winner. (For a list of major league baseball players who homered in their first at bat, see here.)

First Prize

ann althouse
dpvenm: "due process venom" -- an execution by lethal injection after plenty of habeas corpus.

I should note that Althouse had some verbal throat clearing and thinking aloud that I edited out. The full text:

okay, I'll play your little game... dp venom... but what is "dp"? In my notes, it's always "due process." But what is "due process venom"? I'm going to say an execution by lethal injection after plenty of habeas corpus.

Runner(s) Up

neel mehta
ucceh (you-cee-cee-eh): dismissive or Canadian feelings about the Uniform Commercial Code.

cdvmuoo (CD-va-moo): a request by another to kindly remove the CD you've been listening to over and over.

janelle renee
lzfny: A joke you make without much effort. It's not tofny either.

Special Awards!

This week's Neel Before Me(hta) Award for Sustained Excellence in Quantity and Quality goes, not to Neel Mehta, but to warren p.k. and Wendy:

warren p.k.
ydeqyeiu - wide "eq" -- a broad emotional quotient

fkmipdf - may i rewrite this one in a less vulgar form as lvmipdf for love my .pdf?

iizljhm - easel jam -- a crowded art studio

denyz - a rapper's song about denny's restaurants

pgotj == pee gotcha? (said one man to another as they stood at adjacent urinals)

ztuheh -- zut! uh... eh! (a quebecois confused over whether to be french or canadian)

wendy
wzfsph - (wuz-fuh-spah [1,2], wuh-ze-fus PH) [3]):
(1) A question mumbled by tourists looking for the jacuzzi at a resort.
(2) Music notation meaning "Play REALLY LOUDLY and then spit suddenly"
(3) Asking about the acidity of the jacuzzi

qblgtz - a list (or queue) of short blurbs enticing one to visit a blog (blog tease)

vpvqu - (vee-pee vee-kew) someone with a very heavy accent commiserating with your tears; they are "weepy with you"

annxpvk - annex pevek - a movement by dislexics to obtain an eastern Province of Canada for the United States.

lcdsyluh - someone that sells LCD displays south of the Mason-Dixon line

jhcbigu:
(a) "Jesus H Christ! (that's a) big U!"

(b) ya-hic-big-up (a really big hiccup)

(c) a hibiscus-eating iguana

obrgq - (o-brag-kew) Waiting for your turn to boast.

geggyn - (1) "get going" (in a lazy vernacular)
(2) a female gargoyle

zfaukr - Someone saying "the f*cker" with a really badly done French accent.

xlkskes (zulk-skeez): (1) a term to describe someone in a sulking mood; "He has the xlkskes"
(2) The Greek God of sulking.

fqnunj - do not sleep with anyoen in New Jersey

The Keep on Scratching and Clawing Award
One of these days you'll discover how much you like this game.

sleep goblin
uwtgu: UW toga party (drunk college students can't spell..)

eh, scratch that. this is a stupid game!

nmewgms: New Gems - what I'm searching for for my earring designs.

Actually, it said I typed it wrong.. so scratch that!

Honorable Mentions

janelle renee
ujstloqu (U jst loqu): Text message speak meaning "You jest loquaciously."

btoptri: A special bikini top designed to stay in place during rigorous triathlons.

khfujoaz (ka'fu jo' az): translation from street talk to English, "I kung-fu'd your ass."

joint tortfeasor
maoozr (Meoooow Zorro) : A modern-day feline Zorro

majorsteel
tszeebx: a small container for bloodsucking African flies of the genus Glossina (AKA tsetse flies)

phantom scribbler
cbuzzngm: the blogspot address of Celebrity Buzz 'n Games.

Oscar Madison
uvxqtcr ("u-v-x cute car") -- a sporty convertible the provides ultra-violet protection even with the top down.

kjgqzjtv -- "K-jag quiz-j TV": years from now, when rap and, especially, rapper names are a laughable cliche, some rappers will become game show hosts.

mtoscjdo ("mo tosca-judo"): the word shouted to call for an encore at the Martial Arts Opera Festival.

cafqu: 1) a surreal, paranoid sense of danger from drinking too much caffeine; 2) a coffeehouse Kafka