The Columnist Manifesto

... but Word Verifictionary rookie, Mr. Verb, is this biweek's winner on his very first known try! Congratulations!

First Prize

Mr. Verb
ckanibum ([skænəbʊm] scan-a-bum, noun, slang/colloquial): 1. North America: electronic security search of politicians as they are processed into jail after arrest on corruption charges; 2. chiefly UK: Practice of photocopying or scanning one's bare posterior, esp. on office equipment.

Yes, I admit I was very impressed by his phonetically correct symbols, but I'm not going to penalize him for being a professional linguist.

Runner Up

Janelle Renee
dyrze--(AKA: die, rise) The thing Christians celebrate on Easter, the same day that when approaching starts my Pavlovian response for Cadbury Creme Eggs.

efczi--(effect z)-- The snappy skill employed by cartoonists to show their characters are sleeping.

gwhor-- G. W. (w)hore, better known as the FOX cable channel.

kests- A combination of the word "kiss" and "tests." We knew Ennis and Jack aced the kests when they were reunited.

This last one also wins the Special Award for "best word verifictionary related to the accompanying blog post" (re: Brokeback Mountain).


Honorable Mentions

Wendy
fflzecwn (fef-el-zek-wun) The first point scored in the game of "ffl" which involves herding soap bubbles towards a goal.

rxmgl - (arh-eks-mogul) A pharmacist.

eglaap - the egg tray from an Ikea refrigerator.

khjubdrp (kah-JUB-drop): an expression of utter astonishment at winning first prize in verifictionary.

Moral Turpitude
apigq--obviously a line at the trough.

bwikdxz: be wicked sexy

hnginthrndntqutblgng: hang in there and don't quit blogging!! (ok, so I made that up.)

neel mehta
hwmgt (HOW-im-get): a term Southerners like me use to describe a plan to acquire something.

boidlh (BOID-al): describes those thick magazines that New Jersey's engaged women buy to prepare.

nycgs: why the big city smells so bad.

zclce (SEEK-uh-lace): the hardened sugar-coated glaze that forms atop restaurant desserts.

majorsteel
umeokz--shorthand for asking your partner to accompany you into a glade of oak trees ("You, me, oaks!")

irkslf: to annoy oneself

ilolzsa: I am laughing out loud at Zsa Zsa Gabor.

warren p.k.
txtacq-- tax attack -- another name for the ides of april

vggdr -- a naturalistic herbalist healer.

tgljp = tug lip -- that distinctive lip-stroking movement associated with psychanalysts and also with men who stand in contemplation of a giant pickle.

feng li
iaqai - Mayan for sneeze.

Quinn the Brain
hfdustvw (Hef-dust-view) -- what Hugh's girlfriend see up close and personal every night

Just B
kroccmq: new all rock station in Iraq

poofdt: what happened to my old WV because I waited too long

Porlock Junior
oswodcwl -- So, an Operating system without CDs will -- what?

Oscar Madison
mjdqpbrf -- Michael Jordan Dairy Queen promo? Barf!