The Columnist Manifesto

Ques: Why did the avocado roll under the table?

Ans: Because it thought it was a chicken crossing the road

wpk

phrld = ("furled") how to describe a long phone cord that is all twisted and kinked. (Cf. "unphrld" -- the way the cord looks after you stand there holding it high with the earset hanging down so that the cord can unwind and become straight again)
 

#246 A. - your socks fell through the teleportation device in the dryer.

#247 A. - This one is more difficult, as you don't have a cat (who is the most likely suspect). Unless your gargoyle-cat teleported into the house for the sole purpose of hiding the avocado, and then dissappeared. It's either that, or that particular avocado has a very strong desire to turn into a tree, and was searching for dirt with which to implant iteslf. That's one heckuva avocado, mate.

#248 A. - your sunglasses are on top of your head.

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oyysuhgo

1. "Oy, yes. You go" What you say to your SO when you have too much work and they remind you of a social engagement.

2. (oh-ee-SHU-goh) A new collectable card game, replacing Yuh-gi-oh cards.
 

My guess is that the avocado rolled there.

xupzubt (X-ups-you-butt): An unknown item found in a human subject of alien rectal probing.
 

Neel,

Elementary. But sometimes the old saw that "sometimes the obvious answer is the correct one" is wrong.
 

Well, then YOU tell Occam. I'm afraid to. He has a Razor.

uucis: (YOU-cus): that sticky residue caused by you clinging to me.