Friday, February 24, 2006


Existential Friday: the Singles Scene


I went through my sock drawer this morning, and pulled out 17 single socks. I laid them out on my bed for a sock mixer. Quickly, two pair of socks found their mates, and left the party, no doubt with some corny line like "wanna roll up in a ball and hit the sock drawer?"

That left thirteen single socks. There they are, lying like bumps on a log. Is one of them even so much as trying to mingle?

The two black ones in the lower right look like they could be a match -- indeed, they have the same fabric and ribbed texture, but on closer inspection one is gray and the other charcoal. No dice. This just proves the old saying that you can get your socks to meet, but you can't force them to be compatible.

It's sad really. Each of these 13 socks is divorced or widowed. And what good are they now? Do you really expect me to walk around in mismatched socks?

The whereabouts of "the other sock"
remains one of the great unsolved mysteries of the universe.


What happened to their "partners," anyway? How in the world can thirteen socks simply disappear in the space of two years? You can joke all you want about the dryer "eating" single socks, but do you really believe that it's physically possible for a sock to one day up and dissolve into a bunch of lint? I really don't buy that.

I could live with the mystery back in the days of going to the laundromat -- I would just assume that the sock fell out of my laundry, wound up on the laundromat floor and was thrown away. But this explanation doesn't work when you have your own washer-dryer in the basement. They've got to be somewhere. But no: there are no piles of abandoned socks hiding out behind the dryer or under the stairs. The whereabouts of "the other sock" remains one of the great unsolved mysteries of the universe.

Maybe I shouldn't care about wearing mismatched socks -- and therefore, free myself from the oppressive cultural norm that views these perfectly good single sock as useless rags. Why does our existence get so caught up in being part of a couple?

its just a sign of the times :sigh: - lots of non-traditional sock relationships - single socks, 2 left socks, even 3-sock-partnerships. The odds, sadly, are not in favor of nuclear 2-sock-relationships.

word: xuvrela - pronounced zoo-vrella which is a type of umbrella used in zoos. Its camoflauge markings make it perfect for experiencing the artificial rainforest climate and being up close & personal with the native inhabitants.
Hmmm. Has B seen this post? Because she does might worry that the 13 mates to your solo socks might be found in some other woman's home. Maybe one of those gals who gave you "the look."


snszmovc == snooze moves (those boringly repetitive compulsory ice dance moves in the olympics, when performed by skaters from slovakia, the czech republic or any other balkans country in need of an emergency vowel drop)

p.s. something happened and i got hit with a second verification before the system would accept my comment.

shlmh -- the sound a skier makes after crossing the finish line and now swirling to a stop
go for it, Oscar! Be BOLD, be DIFFERENT - wear the charcoal and black socks as a pair! I actually saw a guy in my office building today wearing brown sandles with a black sock on one foot and a white sock on the other. I'm guessing he might've been trying to figure out which looked better and decided to take a poll of his co-workers.
Can you keep a secret? When I wear boots, I wear my mismatched single socks.

OK, on occassion I've been known to wear mismatched socks with sneakers, too.
When I was in high school, I wrote a story about a cat who got stuck in a clothes dryer. She was whisked away (very Lion, Witch, and Wardrobe-like) to a mystical land populated by other animals who had gotten stuck in dryers, and who used unmated socks as currency.

hqddror: hacked-drawer, a drawer that's been broken into (presumably by sock thieves)
To be honest, I can't remember the last time my socks ACTUALLY matched ... I'm convinced my dogs have some secret lair I will discover one day with all my missing mates!
Most of my socks are white so I try to match them by hue. I wouldn't match the one I've washed with jeans with the one I've washed with reds.
I have also been the victim of the sock gnomes (I suppose they are distant cousing of the underpants gnomes, seen on South Park occasionally). However, a thorough and meticulous cleaning of one's house (including emptying closets and cleaning in and around and under laundry bins, washing machines and dryers) actually result in the rescue of long-lost sock spouses.

And don't forget the creative possibliities of a coven's worth of single socks: Puppets, monkeys and other fiber art projects can be constructed with these loners.


bkkecsee - ("buh-keck-see") a town, just north-east of Poughkipsee, NY. It was named by an Iroquois giving directions to someone who was looking for Poughkipsee (it means "just north-east of Poughkipssee")
Craig and WPK -- funny word vers!

Lena -- thanks for the encouragement. You may have just saved thirteen socks from the lint pile.

Janelle -- sorry, but you just posted your secret on the internet!

Majorsteel: I particularly like word verifications that pertain to the post. Nicely done.

Heather: If I had pets, I'm sure I'd blame them too.

MT: YOu mean your socks were white.

Wendy: When underpants go missing, there's no survivor to let you know about it. Underpants should seriously consider employing the buddy system, like socks.

garqylrx: (gar-gyle RX) -- a prescription medication taken by gargling and spitting out, prescribed to cure the compulsion to wear argyle socks or sweaters.

wzflks (was-folks)-- The no longer cool folks.


wzflks (wiz flicks)-- The best selling educational DVD series of 2006: Everything you need to know to become a wizard!
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