The Columnist Manifesto

One of my worries -- admittedly, one that is very low down on the list -- is how barbers continue to make a living in an era of unisex hair salons. It's sort of a fascinating sociological phenomenon: for decades, American men would get their hair cut by men in barber shops, and women would get their hair "styled" by women and gay men* in "beauty parlors." Then, starting with the horrible hair styles of the 1970s, men started going increasingly to "salons" -- essentially, beauty parlors renamed and restyled for unisex clientele, with the big domed hair-dryers replaced by the smaller, hand-held gun style of dryer.

Meanwhile, haircuts at cheap barber-shop prices became gettable at chain hair salons like Supercuts. With barber business drying up, and salons historically offering more financial upside due to the tradition of more expensive haircuts, there would certainly be little social pressure to make room for women in barber shops, which seem to be barely hanging on. It seems like there are a few barbershops left staffed by older men.

I've decided after many years to give the barber another try. I hate getting my hair cut, and I find that I never get one I like whether I spend a lot of money or a little money. I don't like the experience of a leisurely haircut, I don't particularly like getting a shampoo, and I hate making appointments for this necessary inconvenience. So why not make the procedure quick and painless -- barbers are trained to work fast, and make their living through high volume.

I walked into a barber shop this morning at 8 a.m. There were three chairs in the little shop, but two of them had stuff on them, and there was just one barber -- a man in his mid fifties with thick arms and a Harley Davidson bowling shirt.

But he couldn't cut my hair because... he was booked for the day! I had to make an appointment for tomorrow morning. And when I gave him my name, this funny thing happened. (As you know, my real name is not Oscar. For purposes of this story, let's assume it's Steven.)

Barber: What's your name?
Oscar: Steven.
Barber: (Writing in his appointment book.) Can I write it down as "Steve"?

I guess I was glad to hear that he had no openings today, because it suggests that his business is going well. A haircut is $17 -- about $5-7 more than Supercuts. But what's up with the "Steve" thing? And what about making appointments? Does that mean he's not going to give me the quick painless haircut? I have a whole day to worry about it.

_____
*In the 1975 movie Shampoo, Warren Beatty played a hairdresser Lothario who beds Julie Christie, Carrie Fisher, and I think Goldie Hawn, among others. Film critic John Simon wrote something like "this movie will cause a huge increase in beauty school enrollment by heterosexual men."