The Columnist Manifesto

Neel Mehta
mihggv (me-guh-give): I give, and give, and still no verifictionary contest results.

Wendy
fexil - A drug to cure fecklessness, from the makers of Paxil

Sleep Goblin
uszlj: ("use-a-lage") A type of measurement denoting usefulness, often used by those who wish to appear smarter than they really are. "You got a new camera? Cool! What's it's uszlg?"

Neel mehta
kdvqk (KID-vac): toddler with tendencies to suck up edible and inedible items on the floor.

Janelle renee
momusr: A person (usually a sibling) who takes advantage of Mom's generous nature. They are often guilty of being a dadusr, too.

clbprhi ("clob-per hi!"): What Lucy from the Peanuts shouts in her Kung-Fu class when clobbering other classmates. Such a drama-queen!

xyprbndz (XY PR Bands): Music bands hired by PR firms for promotional functions when the target audience is straight female (XX) or gay male (XY).


Neel mehta
kdvqk (KID-vac): toddler with tendencies to suck up edible and inedible items on the floor.

idskyl (ID-skill): the ability of underaged people to make themselves older and probably of another race, for purposes of identification.

pccqmkd (PICK-em-kid): how parents fill out lottery tickets.

jgnvtoj (jog-and-VETO-age): President Bush's morning routine.


Joint Tortfeasor
kfrug: knit, furry rug. (The kind you see up north in cabins.)

Warren p.k.
yusmgls -- "youse muggles!" (referring to non-magical people from Brooklyn)

wolym -- a golem's female mate (y'all ever seen a golem??)

ygfeyryg -young celtic fairy

majorsteel
jpypi: pie made from rare but delicious jpy berry.

Quinn the Brain
jycyqp (juicy-quip): one of those sexual-tension-filled one-liners that get flung back and forth at parties to which you're never cool enough to be invited

eyqks (eye-quicks): those furtive glances used to size up attractive people without them noticing you.

Mr. Verb
ykgpksnn (ook-g?p-k?-s?n: 'person from Ykgpks'.

Moral Turpitude
ifojbar (I fo' jhe bar): Statement indicating a preference to eat at the bar rather than wait for a table in the main dining room.

Oscar Madison
hbmzoae -- "homeboy-mezoae": single celled homeboys from the paleozoic era.

rncmfy (RN-comfy):
a relaxed nurse. -- Neel Mehta

a nurse who works as a "comfort woman" (see ongoing Japan/Korea conflicts if phrase is unfamiliar) -- Warren p.k.

a recliner manufactured by hospital supply companies for nurse's break rooms, costing 5 times as much as a La-Z-boy -- Oscar Madison

KathyR
My verification word is a real word: "sunny"

emhssa - (EM-sah) a word of deference for a female of superior rank.

fbiluf - the act of disguising a wad of cash to appear to hold much higher denominations than is actually there.

ivxwe - I vex we - an ungrammatical admission to annoying not only yourself but your entire social group simultaneously.

eyjlzjcy - (eye-jizzle-juicy) (1) the stuff that's usually in the corner of your eye upon awakening, but before it hardens into crust. (2) someone who is very easy on they eye.

sibtu - "Sib, tu?" An archaic phrase when trying to determine if two people are related. The phrase nearly made it into Shakespeare's "Julius Ceasar," but was cut for unknown reasons.

dxstng - (1) "seduce sting" - a con where the object is seduction (2) sad exes: the next generation - a show about the dissolution of second and later marriages.

ozgandbt - (1) oz gambit: a chess move that proves to your opponent that you are living in a fantasy world.
(2) oh, zig and bit:(a) horse tack. (b) a pub in the English countryside. (c) dancing and eating at the same time.

omyxxy - (oh, my! xxy!) what you say to an offer of a threesome consisting of two women and one man.

# posted by Oscar Madison @ 11:06 AM