The Columnist Manifesto

Very nice picture.

But, those flowers are giving me the creeps. They remind me of the plant in Little Shop of Horrors.

One is after the clock, the other is after the book, and the other is after Oscar. Watch out!
 

this must be the "good" bathroom - I don't rememeber seeing such lovely wood and that zen alarm clock when I was visiting you.

(and what is it about Hokusai's Great Wave of Kanagawa and bathrooms? I'm planning on getting this in tile and installing it in ours. Well, it's to be expected that we have similar tastes, I suppose.

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wzfsph - (wuz-fuh-spah [1,2], wuh-ze-fus PH) [3]):
(1) A question mumbled by tourists looking for the jacuzzi at a resort.
(2) Music notation meaning "Play REALLY LOUDLY and then spit suddenly"
(3) Asking about the acidity of the jacuzzi
 

this random collection of letters is just too good to ignore:

qblgtz - a list (or queue) of short blurbs enticing one to visit a blog (blog tease)
 

Am I the only one who find this an, um, interesting assortment of items to find in someone's bathroom? A deconstruction is in order.

First, the alarm clock. What's that about? I don't think I've ever seen a clock -- much less an alarm clock -- in a bathroom. That would create too much pressure for me.

Second, the bathroom isn't typically a place where one puts a floral arrangement, is it? Perhaps in the bathroom in a fancy hotel or if one is a stinkin' rich celebrity (like JLo) and you have bouquets throughout your house, then why not the bathroom as well.

Third, I can understand the reading material. Sometimes it can be hard to relax and a distraction is in order. Sometimes things just take a long while. But, that's some heavy reading -- World War II Infantry Tactics: Company and Battalion. I usually just grab a magazine but maybe it's taking you a long time to do your business in there.

I'd like to see what's inside the medicine cabinet. Can you show us a photo of that?
 

tonya --

flowers don't belong in bathrooms????

you need a laura ashley refresher course, quick!

wpk

aykimwm -- arms at one's side (cf akimbo, as in arms akimbo)
 

wpk: I've seen your bathroom and, you may remember, I indicated a desire to move into your bathroom. Or at least to luxuriate in it from time to time. Yes, it is certainly worthy of a floral arrangement.

But, I'm gonna stand by my original statement. I've never seen flowers in a friend's bathroom -- not even friends in NYC, where you can buy inexpensive, fresh flowers in every corner grocery store.
 

ah but tonya you DID see flowers in my bathroom -- tucked into the corner of shower, a small spray of hortensia geraniums. (hortensia -- orangey pink, but i had to look it up on google to find just the right word).

wpk

p.s. ok, granted they were silk flowers (not enough light in shower to sustain a plant forever) but they were flowers. you never specified living flowers!

psgxbjm = ok. i defy even the immortal neel to do something with this one!
 

No fair! Fake flowers don't count.

Tonya (word verificationary virgin)
 

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 

wpk: Thanks for the flowers. They just arrived and they are gorgeous. How did you know that I like stargazer lilies? They're my favorite flower and we used them for our bridesmaid bouquets. Thanks again!

P.S. Okay, you're right. Fake flowers count.
 

lucky guess tonya. glad you liked 'em. but i could have done without the insipid music added by the greeting card program. sorry 'bout that!

wpk

tvqryal -- tv quarrel, as in who gets to control the remote.
 

I'm not Neel, but I'll take a shot:

psgxbjm - "pass gas ex-boojum" - blaming your flatulence on an imaginary passerby.

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tvcfl - cable TV in Florida
 

I've been wondering, is there an attendant in that bathroom too? If so, will s/he hand out fresh hand towels and am I expected to leave a tip if I use the facilities?