The Columnist Manifesto

Wendy
ohujgiis (1). (oh-hug-geez): a word muttered under one's breath when obligated to hug "touchy-feely" friends.
(2) (o-huge-eyes) - a brand of glasses that makes your eyes VERY large.

warren p.k.
kchuwuq - kachoo work -- the hard job of getting that last little tickly thing to finally turn into a proper sneeze

Tom Bozzoilipjz: I live in PJs -- what I could do if I were a professional blogger.

Major Steel
ktmks - this season's new high-fashion boot. "Are those Uggs you're wearing?"; "Ick! What planet are YOU from? These are Ktmks!"

ljftnbk--a small elevator for books in Norwegian libraries

Janelle
wsnrm-- Was norm-- Your doctor's response, much to your relief, when you asked what your test results were.

warren p.k.
layuzdvh -- Polish layaway plan

iymxa - "eye-mixer" -- a person with one brown and one green eye

Wendy
ppdougi - (papa doo-gee): What to call your grandfather, if he's named Douglas.

plqube (pleh-cube): a box of the blahs; the high-tech version of Pandora's box.

Moral Turpitude
zkank -- skank in French? i don't know. i just want to be a winner this week.

Sara
rulezix: a 6-year old with no front teeth explaining rule six.

Neel Mehta
ucqly (AUK-lee): unattractive and French.

Oscar Madison
nhjdsqco -- "noodge disco": a dance club where annoying people who pester or whine can meet each other.

cckelu -- ("cc-kuh-loo") an ironic expression of feigned excitement for being copied on an email or letter, as in: "Q: Did you get a copy of my email? A: Big whoop. CCkelu!"

xbeom: (ex-be-ohm) Formerly, I merely existed, but now I am one with the universe.

# posted by Oscar Madison @ 9:10 AM