The Columnist Manifesto

warren p.k.
lovil -- ("low vil") -- typically prescribed as an anti-anxiety drug, it is used illegally by teens to lower willpower and increase impulsive behavior.

Tom Bozzo
kxcksq (kicks chex squares): The after breakfast scene in my house, given toddler table manners.

Neel Mehta
yfstvxg (ya-fast-VEX-age): that voodoo that you do so quickly.

Wendy
ympqvg - your mileage per quart varies greatly. (this one just had to be an acronym)

Janelle
yfnjy--Why Fun Joy? The title of a future Existential Friday post.

Tom Bozzo
ductoi (duck-toy): 'you make bathtime lots of fun'

Mariam
zapukkjn: v. (za-puke-jin) the act of gin-induced, violent gastric-evacuation by way of the esophagus. [USAGE: He was zapukkjn all morning after all those martinis he drank last night]

Allison
Znqkp: The zinc you keep, presumably better than the stuff you throw away.

Wendy
mnhfrr ("men have fur") - a failed slogan for a shaving products company.

ayotjcl (a-yot-zhickle): a stalagtite of road salt hanging from the bumper of your car.

Neel Mehta
hijnd (hi-jend): the end of hijinks.

Oscar Madison
drsms (doctorisms): e.g., "take two of these and call me in the morning"; "you have a flu virus but let me prescribe these antibiotics just in case"; "lawsuits are the primary cause of skyrocketing health care costs."

# posted by Oscar Madison @ 9:05 AM