The Columnist Manifesto

Mariam
fszsb: [urbanspeak, acronym] Fo ShiZzle So Bizzle. Referring to an individual who lacks adequate time for social activity in his or her "hood".

Neel Mehta
cwndrdl (cow-en-DREI-del): the latest game craze sweeping Jewish farms.

craig kaye
tlfrygll - short for "tel-friggle" which is the plastic clip that keeps the phone cord or ethernet cord in place.

warren p.k.
kbrkd - (pronounced kuh-borked") (verb, past tense) having rejected a judicial nominee: compare "let's bork this judicial candidate" with "he's been k'brkd"

wendy
phzrzl (phaze-razzle): annoying people with a laser pointer whilst making buzzy science-fictiony sounds from your mouth.

Moral Turpitude
Woah...look at my word ver: "ejacfw"

Wendy
napjugy: a doohickey used for sleeping.

Warren P.K.
xpjms ("x pjms") -- pajamas that cross the gender divide, as when he wears the bottoms and she wears the top (tho it is much more fun in the reverse!)

Oscar (from prior contest)
ypjasmwr: (why-pjay's-mawr) -- a young child's whine about bedtime in certain North American regional dialects.

aging law student
nesoroxg: slang meaning "lesser of two evils;" the metaphoric choice between having knees or oxygen.

janelle renée
yofmpdem (Yo! Fmpt! Deeee-mmmmzzzzz!)-- the rallying cry, a new product reflective, of yet the Democrats latest self-reinvention: application of rap artist lingo to invigorate the young black vote (or young white suburban black-wannabes).

oflozqbt-- Oh flows kibitz--Thing to say when one's had enough of it.

jtfsfs--This is a good one. I can tell. I'm putting it in the ante, and raise you a "dfsilst".

fbovbx--This blog is fab-ov-blox. One of those new, but annoying, blogwords (for lack of a better word) that means "fabulous blog".

Tom Bozzo
ywvddcup -- What You Would View if you were the late Russ Meyer.

Michelle
fuslrjz (fuss-lr-gees): Having an allergic reaction to those who make a fuss.

majorsteel
dimmckgg - dim-keg. An empty beer container: "Bummer, man. That's a dimmckgg."

Sleep Goblin
tubrb - (too-burb') How I just felt when I was told that I typed the last verification in wrong.

craig kaye
eiespng - pronounced ice-ping, which is a putting contest held on the ice fields of the frozen tundra.

Greg
xrhzetjf (Sir HizetJeff): The hip-hop member of the Round Table.

Phantom Scribbler
ybrti: I don't know what it means, but there are 55 results for it on Google.

Oscar Madison
mbgwb -- (am-bi-gyoo-web-bee): an ambiguity found on the internet or World Wide Web

opycep (pron. "oppy-sep") -- a misperceiving someone to mean the opposite of what he really said.

uyeon -- ("oy-eon"): the time period of the world following a major cataclysm, like global warming, a new ice age, or the Bush presidency.

Wendy
ukffjdac (YOO-kif-jeh-dayk): a one-man band composed of a ukelele, shakers, and an udu.

bhzoteql: (1) the ancient Mayan Bee Goddess ("bee-zho-tek-el"). (2) drinks of the same volume ("zhot-equal")

zalvta (zalvta) - a yiddish word for "skinny woman": opposite of zoftig

vorxfmnm - (vorks-fem-en-em): women's work.

hafmb: (half MB) having only 1/2 the amount of (digital) memory needed to do whatever it is you need to do with your computer, camera, MP3 player, or other digital tchachkes.

bmolu - (BEEM-oh-lew): a common destination for a matter transmitting device. "I'm heading over to the bmolu; see you there?"

tosdaq - (toss-dak) (1) to drink a daquiri very fast. (2) A character name that wasn't stupid enough for George Lucas to use in any Star Wars film.

becruj (be-kruge): the application of makeup on the face, especially rouge, to the degree that it starts to cake and flake.

hkqvqy (hok-qwav-key) - a game played on ice. Players skate around and sing high notes. The player who cracks the ice with their voice wins.


Warren p.k.
gfmawufk -- something one of snow white's dwarves would say

msjnjd -- a tasty afghan stew

qrmup -- a gay muppet

llavzng (pronounced lav-sing) -- welshman singing in the shower

# posted by Oscar Madison @ 9:13 AM