Saturday, February 04, 2006

 

Mr. Boner goes to Washington

I know this is far from original, and is, like, totally Beavis and Butthead, but what's with this Republican penchant for weird names that are tailor-made for cheap and easy satire?

Boehner Unexpectedly Raised to Majority Leader
"He just seemed to pop up out of nowhere," says Blunt

Rep. John A. Boehner (R-Ohio) (pronounced: Boner), who ran an insurgent campaign calling for change in the face of a widening corruption scandal, was elected yesterday to succeed Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Tex.) as House majority leader in an upset over the acting majority leader.

Boehner's victory over Rep. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.), a longtime DeLay ally, stunned House members attending the closed-door election.

"I had Boehner totally beaten," said the plain-spoken Blunt. "The thing was in my hands, but it just slipped away."

They really ask for it though. You can say that you don't pick your own name, but former House Majority Leader Dick Armey (R-Tex) could have chosen to be known as "Rick." Plus, he asked for it with his famous utterance referring to Barney Frank as "Barney Fag" and then saying, "oops, it was a slip of the tongue."

GOP's Boehner to Lead Dick Armey

Former Republican House Majority Leader, Dr. Richard Keith "Dick" Armey, PhD, praised the selection, saying "I would follow Boehner anywhere."

Has all this already been said on The Daily Show? Well, I didn't watch it. And it can't be said too often.

Boehner Succeeds Dick Armey after DeLay

Ohio's Boehner replaces the scandal-ridden Tom DeLay, who had succeeded fellow Texan Dick Armey as Majority Leader...

The leading Republicans have other pun-worthy names: the third place finisher in the Majority Leader voting was John Shadegg (R-Ariz) (pronounced "shad - egg"), who I gather is nicknamed "Roe."
Boehner to have no special access to Bush

"Representative Boehner will be no more or less welcome than Dick Armey to come inside [the White House]," said White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, who failed to explain the pointed omission of Tom DeLay.


Now try reading the actual text of the Washington Post story without laughing:
Boehner's election portends a change of direction for the House this year. In campaigning for the job, he said that the current leadership has been too top-down in its control of the legislative agenda ...

"We must act swiftly to restore the thrust between Congress and the American people," Boehner said in a written statement. [Sorry, I cheated: he said “restore trust.”] ...

Blunt Short of Boehner by Six
[okay, me again – but look, it’s true!]

Blunt, who as majority whip will still be the third-ranking Republican in the House, came within six votes of victory, as the winner needs more than half the votes cast. He picked up 110 supporters in the first round of the secret balloting, compared with Boehner's 79. Forty votes went to Rep. John Shadegg (R-Ariz.), while two lawmakers wrote in Rep. Jim Ryun (R-Kan.). With just a handful more needed in a second round of voting, members began sending e-mails saying that Blunt appeared to have won.

But in a second, head-to-head tally pitting the first- and second-place finishers, Boehner scored a decisive 122 to 109 win. ....

"The members wanted to make a big decision, and they did," Boehner said.

...

But it was mounting concern about a political corruption scandal -- not Boehner's or Blunt's legislative skills -- that colored the leadership contest until the end.... Under mounting pressure [from Boehner supporters?? –ed.], DeLay relinquished his claims to the majority leader's post, officially beginning a scramble for new leadership.

Boehner's Extra Six Trumps Blunt's Personality
[yup... me. --ed.]

From the start, .... Blunt's list of public supporters was always comfortably longer than Boehner's. But it was not until this week that House members returned to Washington from a long recess and the candidates could campaign in person. Boehner said even members who committed to Blunt began realizing this vote had far more significance than the typical leadership contests that are decided on personality, personal contacts and promises. [So size does matter! -- ed.]

Although he campaigned as a reformer, Boehner (pronounced BAY-ner) is no stranger to Washington. ... Once in the leadership, he avidly cultivated ties to the K Street lobbying community. He made headlines for handing out checks from tobacco interests to colleagues on the House floor.

Wait a minute... Bay-ner??? Damn.

Comments:
Monty Python won the "relevant quote" tussle, beating Beavis and Butthead by a wide margin.

"It's spelled 'Luxury Yacht' but it's pronounced 'Throat-warbler mangrove'!"
 
OK, I've gotten back up after rolling on the floor convulsing in laughter. You probably know the deal on why Boehner is 'bay-ner' and not 'boner', but I need another minute away from work right now ...

The 'oe' almost surely reflects a German umlaut o (the guy's from Cincy, a heavily German place). In tons of dialects of German (like in Yiddish), those umlauts changed into 'unrounded' vowels, so ö and ü get pronounced like 'ay' and 'ee' by their speakers. Where I live in Wisconsin, 'Goethe' often gets pronounced as 'gay-tee' by people of German ancestry (although I should confess to seldom talking about poetry of any sort with anybody and have fairly limited data on this point).

But people who have often ended up using a 'spelling pronunication' of the 'it's spelled with an o, so say an o' sort. I think the FBI director calls himself 'mjoo-ler', right? (Tons of 'Millers' were once Müllers, of course.)

As it happens, a number of common German names turn out to be hilarious or awkward in the 'boner' way, though, and such people have naturally avoided this linguistic and/or orthographic integration into English. But it could be worse: A widespread American name in the Midwest and Texas, for example, is 'Sheets' (with various alternate spellings). This goes back (in the cases I know about anyway) to Schütz(e), which would end up in English as 'shits'. I've never heard this anglicized to 'shuts' (too close to the taboo pronunication?) or 'shoots', but they clearly wanted to make sure they avoided the problem, so changed the vowel again -- making it long.

Mr. Verb
 
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