The Columnist Manifesto

Don't tell my old favorite coffee house, Grandma Moses, but I'm having an illicit affair with Coffee Trader. The new place is young, hip, sleek. It has cold brewed iced coffee, regular and decaf (Grandma Moses drops its decaf iced coffee in the cold weather). It has attractive new furniture, in contrast to Grandma's comfy-but-ratty second-hand stuff.



It has sexy architecture, both interior and exterior, including a cozy balcony section. It has free wifi. It has real baked goods, as opposed to Grandma's inedible vegan bakery. It even has an ATM.



Coffee Trader is like the trophy wife of coffee places. It's way too young and attractive for me, but I'm infatuated with it. I want it. But not enough to marry it. I'm too attached to Grandma Moses.