The Columnist Manifesto

This puts me in mind of a little dispute my oldest brother and I had over politics, he a libertarian and me a liberal. At one point, we tormented each other by giving each other subscriptions. I got him "Liberal Opinion Weekly" and "The Nation." He got me "Soldier of Fortune" and "Gun Dog." Given my other subscriptions to ACLU News and various left-leaning magazine, there did come a day when my mail carrier, Tim, knocked on the door to deliver my combination of "Gun Dog" and "The New Yorker" and said "I can't stand it anymore. I just have to ask...."
 

Gun dog!?
 

You are hereby requested and required to combine your 2 hobbies into LIVING CHESS ON ICE. It must be performed with megaphones (for the players) so they can direct the chesspieces, and the pieces must have mock battles with hockey sticks.

I want pictures.
 

I think that my son may be related to you.