The Columnist Manifesto

Here's a question for those of you who have food service experience.

Suppose that person A and person B are dining together. Suppose person B acts toward the server in a manner to which the the server could take offense.

For example, suppose person B asks for tea and is told there is only black tea, which person B doesn't drink. Person B then observes a diner at another table being offered herbal tea, which is what person B wanted all along. Person B then asks the server, "do you have herbal tea?" Suppose that, justifiably put out by the incident, person B happens to ask that question with a certain facial expression. It's a facial expression like the one Larry David uses on Curb Your Enthusiasm when he thinks someone is lying to his face: a piercing stare, with the face moving slowly toward the face of the alleged liar in a slight corkscrewing motion.

Are you with me? Here's my question: is person A, in those circumstances, more likely to get a "spitter" because person B has offended the server? By spitter, I mean any unpleasant adulteration of the meal he is to be served, as an intentional revenge move made behind the scenes in the kitchen. It could be spit, but really anything gross will fit the definition.

Person A wants to know whether the risk of getting a spitter is serious enough to warrant a cautionary conversation with person B, which will entail certain costs of its own...