The Columnist Manifesto

I know how you feel. I'm already tired of TomKat's fetus. Whatever it may turn out to be.
 

Maybe one way to deal with the problem is to cancel your subscription to Elle magazine.
 

Yeah, that would solve my problem, since that's the only place where one sees Ms. Keira Knightly.
 

Okay, fine, then go ahead and cancel your subscriptions to Jane, Glamour, Cosmo and In Style magazine as well. But don't come crying to me when people laugh at you for wearing last year's fashions.
 

You certainly have a lot of confidence in Keira's career longevity. To put it in perspective, how many British ingenues from 1985 are still around? Only Helena Bonham Carter comes to mind.
 

Who?