Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Shirts for fat guys
One of the oddities of being an academic is the need to buy "school clothes" each fall, something that always makes me feel young-in-a-bad-way. My clothes style is conservative, on the theory that certain "classic" styles look good enough that you can hunker down with them through the pendulum swing of fashion changes. It suits me because (a) I hate the process and expense of clothes shopping and (b) I would look goofy in trendy clothes.
For school, I wear pleated pants, a broadcloth button-down Oxford shirt (preferably a solid color but white is okay), and a tie -- no jacket. Basically, if I had a pager or cell phone clipped to my belt I'd look like a Home Depot Assistant Manager on lunch break.
Lately, the shirts have been hard to find. They always have solid color button downs in the fancy dress shirt fine fabric, but not so much in the broadcloth lately. Or if they do, it's flourescent colors or bright primary colors or loud prints or patterns, none of which I like.
So I was delighted to walk into a department store the other day and find a whole wall of my kind of shirt, in about 5 different (non-primary) colors and a couple with muted patterns. but when I tried them on, they all looked funny.
It was then that I noticed: these were all "The Big Shirt," "generously sized for comfortable fit." That's just a big fat euphemism for "shirts for fat guys." Well, I thought, I'll just find the regular size in this style -- but no dice!
What's the deal? Only fat guys get to wear my shirt? I mean, I'm all for fat guys having comfortable shirts, but why should fat guys get the monopoly on my shirt? Apparently, the fashion industry is telling me that if I'm not a fat guy, I have to dress like Ashton Kutcher with those form fitting, pointy collared shirt-tail-out shirts. WTF!
With my conservative, always-slightly-out-of-style look, I can get by with a major wardrobe overhaul about once every four years. In the same 12-year period when I do 3 major wardrobe overhauls, a slave to fashion has to lay out major bucks on clothes about 7 times.
For school, I wear pleated pants, a broadcloth button-down Oxford shirt (preferably a solid color but white is okay), and a tie -- no jacket. Basically, if I had a pager or cell phone clipped to my belt I'd look like a Home Depot Assistant Manager on lunch break.
Lately, the shirts have been hard to find. They always have solid color button downs in the fancy dress shirt fine fabric, but not so much in the broadcloth lately. Or if they do, it's flourescent colors or bright primary colors or loud prints or patterns, none of which I like.
So I was delighted to walk into a department store the other day and find a whole wall of my kind of shirt, in about 5 different (non-primary) colors and a couple with muted patterns. but when I tried them on, they all looked funny.
It was then that I noticed: these were all "The Big Shirt," "generously sized for comfortable fit." That's just a big fat euphemism for "shirts for fat guys." Well, I thought, I'll just find the regular size in this style -- but no dice!
What's the deal? Only fat guys get to wear my shirt? I mean, I'm all for fat guys having comfortable shirts, but why should fat guys get the monopoly on my shirt? Apparently, the fashion industry is telling me that if I'm not a fat guy, I have to dress like Ashton Kutcher with those form fitting, pointy collared shirt-tail-out shirts. WTF!
Left: Kutcher. Right: Random fashion-slave geek. Oy, what's with the vest?!
Comments:
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Isaac's advice is sage.
I am partial to the pinpoint shirts, which you could consider as an associate-professorial upgrade. Perhaps needless to say, I leave the ironing to the professionals.
I am partial to the pinpoint shirts, which you could consider as an associate-professorial upgrade. Perhaps needless to say, I leave the ironing to the professionals.
I thought all one's fashion needs can be satisfied with the Land's End catalog. Nu?
# posted by 
: 2:25 PM, September 28, 2005
: 2:25 PM, September 28, 2005
"Basically, if I had a pager or cell phone clipped to my belt I'd look like a Home Depot Assistant Manager on lunch break."
This is the funniest thing so far you have written that I have read. I can picture you roaming the aisles looking for something trying to help a customer. Too funny.
This is the funniest thing so far you have written that I have read. I can picture you roaming the aisles looking for something trying to help a customer. Too funny.
# posted by : 3:22 PM, September 28, 2005
: 3:22 PM, September 28, 2005
Over the past fifteen years or so, another thing I've noticed about men's shirts is that Small, Medium, and Large aren't the same volume they used to be. Twenty years ago, when I was in my twenties, I wore a Large. Now I drown in a Large size - Medium is what fits me. And I'm the same weight I was back then.
# posted by : 7:09 AM, September 29, 2005
: 7:09 AM, September 29, 2005
Anon 9:09. Size deflation has been occurring in women's fashions for years: a size 10 is now labelled a size 8, an 8 became a 6, and on down the line. Now there are clothes in size 0, thereby raising the important existential question, "if I wear a size 0, do I still exist?"
Welcome to our neuroses.
Welcome to our neuroses.
Hey, you really have a great Blog there I'm definately going to
# posted by : 6:34 AM, October 20, 2005
: 6:34 AM, October 20, 2005
Hey!
I found a great site to buy clothes. I'm 5'10" 250 lbs... www.torrebigandtall.com. You should check it out!
-Ken
I found a great site to buy clothes. I'm 5'10" 250 lbs... www.torrebigandtall.com. You should check it out!
-Ken
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