The Columnist Manifesto

So the "dietary guidelines" people at U.S. Dept of HHS tell us that you can get credit for your 30-90 minutes of almost-daily exercise by walking 10,000 steps.* Maybe that's true -- or maybe it's propaganda with HHS shilling for the powerful pedometer industry.
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*So what's the deal -- USDA is in charge of the food part of diet, but HHS is in charge of exercise? Or does every federal department have its dietary guidelines?
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In any event, I have recently discovered that a round trip walk to my favorite coffee shop, Grandma Moses, is exactly 2100 steps.

Yes, I've come back to coffee again -- take a moment TO GET OVER IT. Okay, ready to go on?

How did I discover that it was exactly 2100 steps? I counted. Actually, I counted one way and multiplied by two.

I think you see where this is going. How am I going to put in the additional 7,900 steps?

I suppose I could make five trips to Grandma Moses every day, but unless I actually get coffee every time, then it's the moral equivalent of just walking around a track. but if I do get five cups of coffee, then I am probably exceeding federally recommended caffeine guidelines. I suppose I could get tea, but that would be the moral equivalent of just walking around a track.

On further reflection, it's not like I'm carried around in a sedan chair when I'm not walking to Grandma Moses. So I'm making up a lot of those steps throughout my day.


Because it's incredibly tedious to count steps -- and so easy to lose your count -- I'm thinking about getting one of those pedometers. My concern is that I'll become an insufferable bore. If you have a pedometer, is it possible to resist telling people how many steps it is from various points A to points B? Like this post?

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