Tuesday, May 03, 2005


Preparing for Mother's Day: start getting depressed now!

Mother's Day depresses the heck out of me. And this "Free Shopper Stopper Extra," which arrived in my mail yesterday, doesn't help:


You're not mistaken -- that picture is just what you think it is. Here's a closeup:

What's wrong with this picture?
a) This is actually not "chocolate french toast with salted apples."

b) This is toasted white bread with a bowl of cornflakes. Couldn't they have at least added a damned half a grapefruit?

c) Mom wants you to know that "give mom out of the kitchen" makes no sense. She would like you to work on your proofreading for Mother's Day.

d) Mom doesn't actually like to eat breakfast in bed.

e) All of the above.

I would like some polling data on this. Moms: Is breakfast in bed your idea of a good time on Mother's Day? I happen to know that several moms read this blog. Maybe you could help me out here.


No! No breakfast in bed. It's usually better than white toast with cornflakes, but laying around, hungry, pretending to be asleep while my husband and children make lots of noise, lots of messes, and make us all late for church is not my idea of a good time. I'd love donuts at the breakfast table and a gift certificate for a massage.
No! to breakfast in bed. Cold toast broken to bits by hard pieces of butter and the honey knife ending up on the duvet are my sweet memories from last year. This year, I've got a new Senseo coffee maker so hands off kids.
Arggh. I get up 2 hours before everyone else. Do I have to get BACK into bed to eat after I've already had my coffee? Please make me a nice dinner and wash the pots and pans. I would like that so much more!
I demand eggs benedict at the diningroom table or nothing.

Sissy Willis
If you take the bed outside on a sunny day, bring a perfectly made latte and my favorite morning nibbles, with fresh fruit, flowers..mmmm, and then the Times to look at and nothing in the world to HAVE to do for the rest of the day -- let it start with breakfast! Sure, why not! But be mindful of the execution: it has to be atuned to my whims and fancies.
Sleeping in followed by breakfast someone else cooked, yes. Crumbs in bed, to be followed in due order by ants in bed, and no comfortable way to eat, no.
Without opining on the great breakfast in bed controversy, does it strike anyone else as madness that the tray in the picture has a fork?

I mean, is it for the toast, or the cornflakes?
Are you kidding me? I LOVE breakfast in bed...especially if it is accompanied by arms laden with gifts! :)
What I would like? The kids make themselves breakfast while I sleep until noon.

Hmmm. Matthew, I believe my preschooler would say that the fork is for both the cereal and the toast. And to play a few drum riffs.
ANY attempt at making me feel like queen for the day would be GREATLY appreciated.
My favorite breakfast in bed was the plastic dinnerware, plastic glassware, and plastic food. It was the thought that counts without the mess. Otherwise, I hate breakfast in bed!
No breakfast in bed! Let's go out for brunch and let someone else do the clean up. Or if that's too expensive, how about me staying in bed until breakfast is set at my place in the dining room! And please, no "world's best mom" cards. They just make me feel inadequate and guilty.
I'm totally down with that massage gift certificate. And perhaps a day pass at one of those spa places.
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