The Columnist Manifesto

If you want some insight into why The Onion started in Madison, Wisconsin, you should delve into the Wisconsin Feral Cat Hunting controversy. Start with Jeremy's take on it, and then go to Don't Shoot the Cat, which self-identifies as "A non-violent campaign of WisconsinCAT Coordinating resistance to Question 62," and which has a bunch of informational links, most of which are of the "truth-is-better-than-The Onion" variety.

"Question 62" is an is an initiative that would

define free roaming feral domestic cats, as any domestic type cat which is not under the owner's direct control, or whose owner has not placed a collar on such cat showing it to be their property. All such defined free roaming feral domestic cats shall be listed as an unprotected species.

This seems literally to make it "open season" on such cats, at least during hunting season. Cat lovers construe question 62 as proposing a statewide "shoot to kill order" on all cats found outside the home. Certainly, they have a point that the definition of "feral cat" is broad enough to include collared domestic cats let outside by their owners.
________

Outdoor enthusiasts approved the feral-cat-hunting proposal 6,830 to 5,201 earlier this month at hearings of the Wisconsin Conservation Congress, a citizens' advisory group.*

_______

On the other hand, Question 62 does not propose to override general restrictions on firearm use, so I'm guessing that you couldn't go around shooting cats on nieghborhood streets within city limits. Don't Shoot, however, suggests that this simply means that Question 62 would allow people in, say, Madison, to capture pesky "feral" cats and drown them.

Don't Shoot links to this post from the Alliance for Animals, called "Public Misled by Hunting Advocates":

“We feel that if 88% of the population of Wisconsin does not hunt, the voice of that 88% should be at least as loud as the voice of the small minority that does hunt,” says Alliance for Animals Executive Director Lori Nitzel. “The DNR and the Conservation Congress are charged with representing the interests and concerns of all of Wisconsin's residents, many of whom have cats. This process, in which only 0.2% of the state's population had a voice on this issue, leaves many unorganized cat lovers without representation.”

If you read this quickly, you'd think that the population of Wisconsin was divided into "unorganized cat lovers" and "people who hunt" and that Wisconsin's total population adds up to 88.2%. And I'm guessing some of those non-hunting people are not actually cat lovers and probably wouldn't mind if the neighbor cat were shut up indoors so it no longer used their flower bed as a litter box.

I know that's really not what she meant, but Lori Nitzel does confirm my long-time suspicion that cat lovers are generally unorganized people and that if you stay over at their place and take a shower, you invariably step out onto some cat litter with your bare feet, making you feel like you want to shower again.

I realize that this is no justification for a law that would essentially require all cats to live indoors at all times or else to get outside only for walks on leashes, like dogs. But cats were not put on this earth for our convenience, and it would be inhumane to force them to give up roaming in favor of leashed walks -- as compared to measures such as declawing and spaying (which would likely be the fate of many former outdoor roamer cats who would become shut-ins).

A complex issue....

________

*This picture was neither from Dont't Shoot the Cat, nor The Onion, but from the California State Bar Journal, of all things, in an article not about cats, but about juries. The caption is mine.