The Columnist Manifesto

I'm eager to get back home, a journey that takes me to O'Hare International Airport in Chicago. ORD, as it is affectionately known in the air travel world, broadcasts an "unattended luggage" announcement at regular intervals. The relevant part begins:

Do not leave your luggage unattended at O'Hare International Airport.

Nothing noteworthy there, except perhaps the slight Texarkana twang of the female announcer.

Do not leave your luggage unattended at any airport.

Is it public-spirited, or merely officious to helpfully dictate our behavior in all the airports of the land? Could she add, "brush all teeth after every meal"? In any case, arent' the other airports outside of the jurisdiction of this Chicago-O'Hare announcer, even if her accent would recommend her to airports in Dallas-Fort Worth and Houston? The announcement goes on, but I'll present it in its entirety for the full affect:

Do not leave your luggage unattended at O'Hare International Airport. Do not leave your luggage unattended at any airport.

Unattended luggage will be destroyed by the Chicago police.

Now, I get it: the announcer is simply alerting us to the fact that the Chicago police may show up in any airport throughout the Homeland Security empire and, if need be, destroy your luggage.