The Columnist Manifesto

'Early winter'? I beg your pardon, sir. If you check the 'degree heating days' this season to date against the 'normal' number in the local paper, you'll see that it's 'early' only in comparison to the recent non-winters. The average freeze date for the smallest of the three major lakes in town is Nov 27 and I think we missed that by a few days. (See Atlas of [your county name here] County, [your city name here], p. 49. We are somewhat ahead on snowfall, but only by a few inches.

I dream of an early winter ...

Mr. Verb
 

I am just back from THE BIG SNOW in Baltimore. The kids were let out early from school, cabs were in short supply, appointments were rushed so people could get out of the office early and get to the stores for supplies, and the salters were in full force. For about 7. Not feet. Not inches. Tenths of inch.

Wimps.
 

7 tenths of inches - wow.